The Journey of an Unconditional Man
(this blog post was originally published on Mar 8, 2021, on Medium)
This is my journey.
A journey to find my truth within, my absolute truth, unconditioned from any judgement, blame or shame I was conditioned to growing up or may have gathered throughout my life.
Imagine this is written by someone you know. Ask yourself, does it matter? Would it change your feelings or sentiment towards this person? Can you imagine reading this with an open mind, free from the image of this person you have created during your life knowing this person or without judgment towards this person in case you don’t know her/him? I may be black, I may be white, or from a different culture than yours. I may be young; I may be old. I may be rich, I may be poor, I may be an extra-terrestrial … Are you able to read and look at me in an entire virgin state of mind or heart? Without any judgment whatsoever, leaving everything behind you may have learned in your past or culture, to seize or judge others.
This is my journey.
A journey in letting go of my identity of the past, an identity built on belief systems, assumptions and addictions no longer valid today.
A journey into my own narratives I created over the years in wanting to be this person I can no longer identify with.
A journey into balancing my masculine and feminine energies within. The wounded masculine in our unconscious, created dysfunctional family, society and business lives, with qualities like aggressive competition, control, abuse, avoidance, and withdrawal. I had my share of it and understand change is necessary and possible.
A journey of acceptance of who I am, no matter what construct I made of myself or things I may or might have disliked about myself.
A journey to discover the real me. A journey into consciousness.
A journey into self-reflection, embracing the observer by observing my thoughts and actions. Who am I? Am I this entity talking to myself or is there more to it? Is that me? A part of me? Or is that just an ego construct created over time? And who is that entity within observing the observer? And what about the “I Am Consciousness” I’m experiencing when meditating?
A journey into facing my fears. As fear is driving my emotions I can no longer identify with them, and I do want to embrace them as well, as they are part of me, whenever they get activated. There are many different types of fear: fear of growing old, fear of loss, fear of dying, fear of ending up alone, fear of not being loved, fear of pain (physically or mentally), fear of disease, fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, …
Fear creates a lot of wrong decisions, actions and negative energies in our lives and around us. Most of what is happening in the world today we witness are fear-based decision results. I want to step out of this endless loop and promise myself I will not act any longer out of fear. And when it appears, I want to be attentive to it, not analyse it, not rationalise it, not escape from it, not observe it from the past, to give my whole energy to look into its source. Then when I do that, fear is not — according to Krishnamurti in this sublime meditative inquiry on “How to dissolve fear completely?”
This is the start of a new journey of trying to understand me and found out what really matters. What inspires me? What makes me joyful? What gives me positive and vital energy? What moves me? What connects me to others?
To find out the source of giving unconditional love to oneself, our beloved ones, our communities, our humanity and nature.
