How the mother wound shows up in business
In a previous newsletter, I wrote about How the father wound shows up in business. This is the 2nd part of this reflection on how they have an impact on identity, your ability to regulate emotions and how to have healthy relationships and cultivate self-compassion, forgiveness and belief work to heal from these wounds.
Recent statistics reveal that 65% of startups fail not due to a lack of talent, vision, funding, or resilience but because of founder incompatibilities and immaturity in leadership. Issues such as misaligned values, poor communication, unresolved personal conflicts, and a lack of emotional intelligence often undermine even the most promising ventures. While technical expertise and market strategy are critical, the ability of founders to navigate interpersonal dynamics, handle stress, and lead with self-awareness is just as essential for long-term success. Startups thrive when their leaders are not only visionary but also grounded, mature, and aligned in purpose and collaboration.
In the realm of leadership and business, much attention has been given to external factors like strategy, innovation, and performance metrics. But beneath the surface, unseen emotional patterns often influence our decisions, relationships, and overall effectiveness. One of these deep-rooted patterns is the mother wound—an emotional imprint formed through our early relationship with our mother or maternal figures.
While the father wound often relates to achievement, discipline, and validation, the mother wound speaks to our capacity for connection, care, and self-worth. It shapes how we nurture ourselves and others, how we balance giving and receiving, and how we build relationships in both personal and professional contexts.
Image by Guille Pozzi / Unsplash
What Is the Mother Wound?
The mother wound is not about blaming our mothers. Instead, it’s about understanding how societal expectations, generational trauma, and personal experiences influence maternal relationships. For many of us, the dynamics with our mothers (or lack thereof) left imprints that manifest in how we navigate care, vulnerability, and emotional safety in adulthood.
In business, this can translate into how we lead, collaborate, and handle the emotional landscapes of teams and clients.
Signs of the Mother Wound in Leadership and Business
Over-giving and Burnout Leaders with an unresolved mother wound often feel the need to overcompensate for others, sacrificing their own needs to "take care" of their teams or businesses. While this may initially seem altruistic, it often leads to burnout and resentment. Example: A CEO who continually puts their team’s needs above their well-being might struggle to delegate or set boundaries, leading to exhaustion and inefficiency.
Difficulty Receiving Help or Support Many people with mother wounds find it challenging to trust others enough to accept help, feedback, or care. This can create isolation at the top and a feeling of needing to "do it all" alone. Example: An entrepreneur who insists on micromanaging every aspect of their business because they feel unsupported or fear losing control.
Fear of Vulnerability and Emotional Intimacy If emotional intimacy felt unsafe or unavailable in the maternal relationship, leaders may struggle to show vulnerability, even when it’s necessary for authentic connection. Example: A leader who avoids difficult conversations or dismisses emotions in the workplace, creates a culture of emotional disconnection.
Perfectionism and Self-Criticism The mother wound often comes with an inner critic shaped by the need for approval or conditional love. This can lead to perfectionism, where no achievement feels "good enough." Example: A manager who demands flawless performance from themselves and their team, inadvertently stifling creativity and growth.
Codependent Leadership Styles Leaders with a mother wound may feel responsible for everyone’s happiness and success, creating unhealthy dependencies where their value is tied to others’ validation. Example: A founder who avoids making tough decisions for fear of upsetting team members, even when those decisions are necessary for the business.
Healing the Mother Wound: Steps Toward Wholeness
Awareness of the mother wound is the first step toward transformation. Here are some ways to begin addressing it:
Cultivate Self-Care: Practice setting boundaries and prioritising your well-being without guilt. Recognise that nurturing yourself is not selfish—it’s essential for sustainable leadership.
Learn to Receive: Start small by asking for help or accepting compliments without deflection. Building trust in others takes time but is necessary for balanced collaboration.
Embrace Vulnerability: Share your challenges and emotions with trusted colleagues or mentors. Authenticity creates stronger, more human connections.
Challenge the Inner Critic: Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Celebrate progress rather than chasing perfection.
Redefine Nurturing: Reflect on how you care for others in your professional life. Are you enabling or empowering? Shifting from codependence to empowerment creates healthier dynamics.
Why It Matters
Healing the mother wound is not just a personal endeavour—it’s a leadership imperative. Leaders who integrate care, boundaries, and emotional intelligence create workplaces that are both compassionate and resilient. They model a balanced approach to giving and receiving, fostering cultures of trust, growth, and authenticity.
By addressing the mother wound, we not only transform our own leadership but also create a ripple effect of healing and empowerment for those we lead.
🫂 How is your experience with the mother wound in your professional environment?
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